Disclaimer: This isn't a pity post: I just want to document my journey, good and the bad.
It has been 11 days since I was diagnosed and I think at about 1 week it hit me.
It has been 11 days since I was diagnosed and I think at about 1 week it hit me.
I don't want to be in a wheelchair.
I REALLY don't want to be in a wheelchair.
Then I started to cry and I haven't really stopped since.
I think it sunk in...
and it hit really hard.
I got a cold or something too
so that is probably compounding the problem because a regular cold feels like mono for me. So I spent a lonely last 4 days in bed.
Thinking.
My happiness and peace over the diagnosis lasted a big 7 days.
Big woop.
Now I am Devastated.
Scared.
Confused.
Angry.
Alone.
Frustrated.
and find new ways to hide tears from my kids.
I have pleaded to my Heavenly Father to guide me to ways to help myself in this journey.
It could be the recent loss of complete feeling in both my heels.
When I walk I can't even feel the carpet when my heels touch the ground. Eventually people that end up in wheelchairs, their legs become so numb they have no other choice.
I want to have a choice.
to not end up in a wheelchair in my 30's.
So as I mentioned to a friend the other day.
If I have to eat tree bark and sap everyday I will do it.
5 comments:
Jenny: My heart is breaking. I miss you soooo much. I wish I could do something to help you, to make you feel better.I love you with all my heart.
Mom XXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOO
Jenn,I cried when I read your post it just made my heart hurt......I want you to know that I am here for you and all you have to do is call......I cant even imagine what you are going through but know I care and pray for you daily......your a amzing person and I know you will find special ways to deal with this.......I love you to pieces Melanie
Jenn I love you so much. I pray for you daily. Let me know if I can do anything. Love ya. Shauna
I know that it is easy to feel alone in this journey but please remember that you have a mountain of people readyto help you in every way. Even more importantly than that-listen up because this part is very important...you haven't started any treatment yet! This is huge- as soon as you can start taking the right meds or doing the right treatments these symptoms will get better! This is a certainty so be a little more patient honey because the next step will be the best.
PS I'm Italian so I'm sure I can figure out a recipe to make tree bark taste awesome!!!!
Post a Comment