Hunter Graduates!!

My baby graduated from Elementary School....woah.

Immediately I think of me...

When did I get so old?
How come I didn't see the years past by so fast?
What will I do know that my little boy is getting older?
I am not ready!

Then... I thought of Hunter.

He is growing up to be such a wonderful little man.
He is so sweet.
He amazes me how smart and talented he is.
He is ready for this.

Cherished Mother's Day

Well I am baaaccck.

Isn't it funny that we let things slide to the way side even when they mean so much to your life. Like...

Eating healthy,

Exercising,

Scripture Study,

Fervent Prayers

Staying up on that paper pile...

and of course

BLOGGING!!!

Even when we can SEE how wonderful the benefits are.

But then for some reason we either get....

Lazy

Busy

Tired

or whatever.

So just like I need to put less cookies in my mouth and more roughage...I am getting my behind in gear and returning to my family blog.

I miss so much reading "as it happens"

about my crazy little family. And our journey we are having all together.

Jess for Mothers day gave me a scrapbook.

I had made completed all the pages when she was a baby,

but hadn't finished binding it in album.

So she took the liberty to put it all together for me and finish it.

Matt says she worked long and hard on it and finished it all of by binding it all together with one of her brothers belts.

So for the sake of having all these memories neatly bound in a nice little blog instead of strewn around the house in random half finished scrapbook pages, I return to my blog!!!

Biking to School

 

Biking to school is a right of passage that only the third and fourth graders are given. Jessica being at this ripe ol' age felt the need to follow through with this given privilege and bike to school with her brother.

It lasted one day....we have many big hills. 

At least she can look back and say she did it...once.

Happy Love Day

Lovey Dovey Day was Fabulous...
the kids got their annual candy gram when they woke up
Matt and I had an wonderful lunch date
and spent the entire day together. I love this man so much.
and we had our annual family Valentines Dinner.

We all had a great day full of love.

Jess worked all week making sure she had something for everyone in the family for Valentines this year. After she proudly delivered her handmade cards and carefully purchased treats to each of us (she got me a rose :)

I asked the boys if they had something for her?

Logan ran to his school stash and carried a treat behind his back and then told her to shut her eyes, he then shoved a candy in her awaiting hands and said..."Happy Valentines Jess, love ya."

Hunter climbed up on a chair and then announced that his card for her was oral....he then said....
"Dear Jessica,..." and proceeded to "tell her" what he would of written in a card and dutifully ended it. "Love Hunter."

Then Hunter looked at Logan as he was climbing back down and said.
" r'member when I let you go first yesterday on wii, that your valentines, k? Let's go play"

That satisfied Logan as that was more than he was giving Hunter and they were off.

I Love it.


Jess and Hunter had to make their own mailboxes for school. Jess my little competitive gal...HAD to start planning it the minute we learned of this...as they would be judged. So she stewed and glued and came up with this heart pillow man that held a mailbox that when it opened and it sung "Makes you Wanna Shout" which she cut out from a musical card and rigged it so it would sing when the mailbox opened. Clever huh?

She REALLY wanted to win, she said she had to write up a plan of her project in school and she wrote how much she wanted to win even though her mom told her winning wasn't was important. Well at least she heard it. So...

She stressed.

We tried to de-stress her.

She won.




Hunter made his without much discussion with his mom. About 20 less discussions than Jess and I had about hers. He was busily making his box about an hour before bed the night before and was very content with his shipping box mailbox and could care less if he won or not.
I thought is was great too.

He didn't stress.
He didn't win.



Hmm. Man, parenting would sure be easier if they all came out the same, but not near as entertaining.

Am I Pregnant??

Wednesday I hit the 6 week post liberation CCSVI surgery.

It is a wonderful time, but tough time!

I feel amazing.

But until I hit that second milestone I always wonder?? Is it coming back?

There is a fear until about 3 months of scar tissue creating a new valve. Also we are unsure of what the long term road will be for this procedure.

No, I am NOT pregnant, and don't hold your breath. But it is the best way to help explain it. There is a time in the early weeks that it is too early to see the stick turn colors to confirm, that you could honestly go either way. Sometimes during that time you feel, "ya, this definitely feels like all the other pregnancies" then you find out you aren't and you aren't really surprised that you aren't pregnant. You just don't really know for sure.

So that is how I feel now. I am not really sure???

So unless I had another venogram to confirm (like taking a pregnancy test) I seem to continue to analyze my symptoms.

But as for now. There is no denying that my leg pain is completely gone. My energy is great. My vertigo, tremors and morning headaches are still gone.

Tingling is still there, but hey, no complaints.

So I am trying very hard to continue to put my faith in Heavenly Father and know that whatever may be...is supposed to be.

And just be grateful for each blissful moment I am given when it is there.

(UPDATING THE BLOG: I have been slacking with family blogging so I am going to catch up the last 6 months and post them out of date order for now and post them currently, and then plop them back where they go later. Because I HAVE been taking pictures like usual just need to post em.)

Day Three: Recovery Day

Today we just hung out and recovered.

I had a very easy day.

I didn't hurt...yet. (that came later)

I had to be careful with my site at the femoral vein, being on blood thinners it was very important I didn't pull or stretch that area causing it to bleed. And they had to put my IV in my hand so I got a doosy of a hematoma bump there, but I am used to being a freak with the IV it happens with all my baby births.
But it was this little bump that when they wheeled me out, Matt took one look at my hand, got so faint I couldn't even talk to him about how great I felt, until he caught his breath and seriously bring color back to his face and take deep breathes.

No exaggeration here either I am afraid... I am totally serious. I actually said, "are you for real!?" The nurses always say (as he has had this reaction with all 3 babies) and says they are brought on by seeing someone he loves in pain.

Good thing he wasn't allowed in while they were destroying my valves!

Other than that I felt really really great. When I woke up the after surgery my head felt so clear and I had for the first time no headache behind my eyes.

I felt so refreshed I would of done our Disney Day today...but Matt just gave me his,
"Jenn your talking crazy talk again" look.

So we just hung out on the bed and watched t.v. and just chilled.

It was actually pretty nice.

Finally in the afternoon we had our appointment with Dr. Arata. I couldn't wait to tell him he was gave my life back and how great I felt. I walked into the waiting room and found a gal that I had seen at the pre op appointment. When we were both in the waiting room two days prior, she was in a wheelchair. Today...she walked in to her post op appointment.
I wanted to jump up and hug her. We started talking and like excited school girls about all the symptoms that have gone or are changing.

It was incredible to see.

When I met with Dr. Arata, he just sat and listened as I joyfully explained every detail of how I have felt the last 24 hours. He sat with a smile on his face and just listened as I happily erupted all my excitement as fast as I could. I apoligized for being so excited, as anyone that knows me it was a very animated moment. But he just chuckled and told me he was thrilled for me. We discussed further about blood thinners and other details and then told me he would like updates regularly for as long as is convenient for me.

So we then felt it was a good time to go celebrate and go to In and Out.



When we go to Disneyland we always stay at the Candy Cane Inn.
I HIGHLY recommend it.

Clean (and I am freaky about that)-Great Great Price-Free shuttle-Free Big Breakfast-Nice Pool-Clean (it deserves being said twice)-Close, one block from Disney Main Enterance-and so Gosh Darn Cute!
...it has a beautiful cobblestone road, gorgeous flowers and ivy climbing up the walls...my favorite.

Our room was right behind this cascading ivy...love it.
So it made hanging out really nice.

My Disney Day

Ahh..Today was just wonderful.

Two days post vein surgery

and I feel like I am 19 years old and

full of energy.

And here at Disneyland I feel full of childlike excitment...
I just want to keep pinching myself because I can't believe how amazing I feel.

How different I feel.
What better place to share this awesome new energy!

Matt was amazing making it the

happiest day for me.

We ate at all the fancy restaurants I have always wanted to eat at.

We strolled through the shops, again and again.

We rode the rides a couple times in a row sometimes.

(which we learned was a little ambitious as I was SORE

afterward and it brought on a serious headache)

It was just so fun to laugh,

smile until our cheeks hurt and just spend the day hand in hand.

And just celebrate this day of amazing miracles.

It was just a really great day.

First Doctor Update

Dear Dr. Ararta,

Hello! I wanted to update you at my two and three week mark. Overall I have feel more wonderful than I can explain!

Procedure Date: January 5

Pre Procedure	2 weeks	3 weeks
Tremor in foot, especially bad in the bathtub	Tremor is faint, doesn't act up at all in the bath.	Tremor is still weaker, but occasionally it will freak out. Still not affected with heat. I hope in time it will go away more as it can occasionally cause painful cramp in my calf.
Body Tingles and Twitches and all the time, like ants having a party	Tingles and twitches aren't as crazy and feels more the ants are having a siesta.	same as week two.
Fatigue- EVERYTHING was an effort, extremely debilitating. Felt like I had mono everyday. I NEVER felt refreshed.	Fatigue totally gone! This was so drastic for me. I feel like my head is so CLEAR!!! Feel like I can get 10 times more accomplished in a day. Happily, this is my biggest symptom improvement.	Energizer bunny still going strong. If I restenosis I think it will be the lack of my head clearness that I will notice most. I am still amazed at how clear my head feels. It has been so since day one and never changed.
Morning headache behind eyes and back of skull. Felt head was full. Felt it the minute I woke up, resolved as the day went on.	The MS morning headache is gone!! However I have been getting headaches but they have felt different and seem to be related to my neck pain.	The MS morning headache still gone! The neck pain is much less and my headaches associated with them have gone. I have found if I bend over with my head down too it will cause an instant headache behind my eyes.
Leg Pain, my worst symptom other than fatigue. Spasticity. Prescribed baclefen for pain and spasms.	I haven't had pain in my legs. So after week one I tried going the Baclefen pain was bad the next day. At week 2 I tried again and have no pain.	Been off Baclefen for 10 days and still no pain. This is amazing as I have been struggling with this the longest.
Freezing feet! Discoloring of feet	Went skiing and still had warm feet and didn't feel like they were frostbitten! Never never happens.	My feet are kind of strange. Once in a while they get spots of incredible warmth almost too warm. They also are a nice pink but a splotch pink, like they are working their way there. Still warm though!
Heat Intolerance, another very bad one for me. I needed to lie down after I stepped out. A day I had to shower, was always a bad day.	I can't believe how different I feel even after a hot hot shower! I am not tired and it doesn't affect me at all now.	Same as week 2
Bladder- periodically painful spasms, urgency	No spasms less urgency.	Same as week 2
Insomnia I was beyond exhausted but could NOT ever fall or stay asleep.	I no longer take sleeping pills. I naturally get tired and can fall asleep and sleep through the night. Changed my sleeping posistion from off of my stomach which keeps me stirring a bit but always fall back asleep.	Still sleeping well without any pills. I raised my bed it seemed to help with my sore neck.

Post Procedure Symptoms

When getting just about any other procedure done, for example when I had and ovarian cyst removed, you receive a page print out about what to expect, what to avoid, and when to be alarmed post procedure. The disadvantage of being one of the early ones to receive this particular procedure, there isn't a gold standard yet of what to expect post procedure in terms of recovery. I understand why this wasn't available to me. However it became tough when you are already pre occupied with the fear that your valve didn't tear during those first 2 weeks. I hope with my account and others maybe there can be a more detailed future "post procedure care" paper.

Personally, I didn't experience any pain in my neck for a couple days. However if I did anything that would put any to strain to that area it would be quite painful. Almost like spasms. I would really ache and sometimes it would cause a wicked headache at the base of my skull. That lasted on and off for about 3 weeks. I learned quickly that my beloved position of sleeping on my stomach was not helping and once I gave up that position my neck pain and headaches greatly improved. Which I had read that sleeping position does a number on your jugular veins and should be avoided anyway.

It didn't take much to strain it either, lifting a laundry basket, scrubbing the counters or a stubborn pot would irritate the muscles surrounding the collarbone and up the neck, and it would radiate up to my skull in a form of a headache. I also felt deep aches in my chest.

Seeing my MS is relatively minor compared to many who undergo this procedure I was probably a lot more active and did more regular things than most. Therefore more aches and pains would follow. So I would suggest mentioning to your patients that they may feel neck pain and even headaches for several weeks. I of course was alarmed that maybe there was a problem but I wasn't having any regression in symptoms so I hung in there. Sure enough they went away.

Dr. Arata, I am overjoyed by my progress and feel extremely blessed that I was able to be your patient. Thank you for all you do and your diligence for moving this forward. You are truly saving lives, by bringing quality back to them. Thank you!

Sincerely,

Jenn

First Milestone Achieved

Usually keeping up with the blog
has been tough because
I haven't felt well enough and most of all have enough energy.

Now...

I feel like I have so much energy
I haven't slowed down long enough to update.

So I am now
18 days Post liberation Procedure.
It hasn't been smooth sailing all the way.
I didn't just wake up and turn into the biotic woman...
although it would of been nice to wake up to a new ripped body.

I have been struggling with neck and chest pains and headaches
from all the tugging and pulling and balloon tricks that went on in there.
Which leads to some
big headaches.
But I am trying to keep remembering it should be normal...

I say "should" because....

who know's?

unlike anything else "medical"
they send you home with an aftercare sheet
that tells you what to expect and
how to take care of yourself.
Well this being such a new procedure,
for my sons stitches I received more post procedure information.

So there is no gold standard of what to expect yet....

a little more lonely out here when you are one of the first.
But that is the trade off.

I will take it.

I needed to get past my first milestone.
The doc said if I went back to square one
by two weeks then we know that the
right valve didn't tear or break.

I am confident to say,
I believe I am out of the woods as things have been
progressing forward not backward.

And by the way my neck has been feeling,
if he didn't break it... then something else in there did.

So....Yippee!

My next milestone is at the 3-4 month mark.
There is a possibility scar tissue from the
surgery that can cause another blockage.
So I would know by all my symptoms returning.

So I worry. Every time I get a little tired,
or my foot twitches ...so...
I worry.

New Me

So I don't even recognize

my new unblocked self.

I keep surprising myself...
a few things I have noticed.

Before:
I found waking up early the death of me.

Now:
I naturally wake up early...and REFRESHED!


Before:
I hated to cook, I loathed it because my legs hurt to stand there, my brain fog made it confusing, and my fatigue made me wonder why people called this a "hobby".

Now:
I have honestly baked and cooked more in the last
two weeks than I have in the past year.
Just ask my neighbors, and....I find it enjoyable!! No kidding.

Before:
Exercising was never enjoyable, nor is it for a lot of people. But I used to try and I don't know if it is because my poor tiny vein was trying to get blood to quickly rush through it as I worked harder, but it would cause debilitating fatigue after a short while. I used to wonder what people were talking about when they said they would become more energetic afterward. Ya..no. Not me.

Now:
I have been speed walking in my cutest form everyday on the treadmill for a half hour for the last week. I now sweat more than ever, which the doctor said I would notice. (don't ask me to explain why?) And I feel really good afterward! My fatigue isn't there like it was, I am tired, but not I have mono kindof tired. Incredible.

Before:
Showers always made me exhausted. So if I was clean that day...I was wasted for hours. I noticed it most the last couple of months, but I could say I have always done poorly in heat. When Matt and I were in Florida, Mexico you name it, I always had a bout of debilitating heat stroke. I always thought it was stemmed from my sisters red hair gene in me that made me intolerant. Also the hot bath would always help my leg pain, but in return my foot tremor would go from mild to crazy when I was in the heat.

Now:
What a difference! I can actually jump out of the shower and run downstairs to grab something out of the dryer, race back up the stairs without holding the handle, and still feel normal. This may all sound weird, but it is a huge deal to me. And my foot tremor remains unchanged when I have baths now.

Before:
I had horrible fatigue but what's worse, I had insomnia. Horrible all night insomnia for years. I have had to take Advil PM for the last 4 years, with little help. Which I have now discovered is one of three CCSVI classic signs.

Now:
I get naturally tired, (all that baking and running up the stairs catch up with me) so I no longer need anything to help me sleep. And I sleep all night long.

These all seem minor to some...
but for me I went from

tolerating life to loving life.

Support

My first day back to the office
the gang threw me a surprise party...

I was so touched.

I am so incredibly thankful to everyone for
the support and all the
encouraging cards,
uplifting emails,
listening ears,
a hilarious "going away package" (wink wink)
and even beautiful gifts sent my way...

I have appreciated it so much.

This has been as big deal for Matt the kids and I
to go ahead with this new procedure
and it has meant so much that you
all have been
so supportive.

So a big THANK YOU!

Day Two- Liberation Day

(this picture is showing how the vein isn't flowing,
in fact it started to break off and make alternate routes
and highways in order to get more blood flow.)

So the morning went fast,
and I don't remember much up to after I woke up.

I learned my lesson from yesterday
and asked everyone wearing a badge

when were my drugs coming??

So I will start there.

Dr. Arata found that my left and right jugulars were blocked/narrowed/ or stenosed. My right being the worse.
He said a normal vein size is approximately
19mm

Mine is 8mm.

Yaaa, now I know why I didn't score higher on my ACT.

He was able to snap/pop/destroy my left jugular valve.

But he wasn't' sure if he got the right side as it was so much smaller which made it thicker and harder to snap.
He said he might of or might not of.

Because it is a guided procedure, the only way to know is by feeling it snap or hearing it...

I know, gross eh?

So the bad news is within the next two weeks, if my symptoms all return we know it didn't snap open and I will need to return to get the procedure again to try again to get it to break.



These are pictures of the balloons pumped up in my vein.


So the verdict.

I feel flipping fantastic.

Leg Pain:
Mostly Gone

Fatigue:
Gone

Brain Fog:
Gone

Bladder "Issues"
Mostly Gone

Tingles
Mostly Gone

Limb Weakness
Gone

Foot Tremor
Almost Gone

Morning Eye Stabbing
Gone

Intention Hand Tremors
Gone

Heat Intolerance
Gone

Burning Skin Neuralgia
Gone

I feel like I am 15 years younger. I just feel "normal" again, and it feels amazing. I do have a doosey of a daily headache but we heard is from the blood thinner injections. He also said it could take months for your body to see all the positive symptoms.

I feel so blessed.

Day One - Part 2 consultation

So after my

big bad test.

We had an consultation that afternoon
with Dr. Arata about the procedure.

In a nutshell.
(I will try to explain this the best I can.)
As I mentioned before, they find in almost ALL cases of people with MS, they have CCSVI
(a narrowing in your jugular or azygo veins)
But unlike other doctors performing this brand new procedure. Where they focus on angioplasty of the vein. They are focusing on the valves.



He compared it to a toilet flapper.
Ever seen on of those? When you flush it goes up and down.
This valve is what opens and closes allowing your blood to flow freely from your brain.
Well Dr. Arata is one of the few doctors who is focusing on the malfunction of this valve not working properly.

How you ask?

Well by destroying it.

Um... Don't I need that valve?
so... I don't know, my head doesn't fill with blood?


He continues to explain that by doing this, the valve is stretched open until it snaps open. And stays open. Like a rubber band. Doctors now, and how he previously preformed the surgery, they only stretched it to normal size through angioplasty.

However they were finding in 50% of the cases it made it's way back to original size because of it's rubber elastic qualities. Therefore by snapping it open it restore flow permanently.
Allowing my poor brain to BREATHE!

I need all the IQ points I can get.

So am I blocked. Will this help me??

He said that I showed a blockage in both jugulars
but would be able to see even better during the venogram.

(inside happy dance)

Since they started to use this method
in July their restenosis rate (the elastic shrinking again) has been only 1%.

So still unsure how my head won't fill up with blood??

As unlike a gall bladder or tonsils,
you kind of need this flap.
But he explained that my need to get my like back
from the grip of Multiple Sclerosis, that trumped needing the flap.

Well put I say.

Okay so I don't need it, but does my body know that?

We discussed how standing on my head is a big no no.

No prob. I can do that.

But actually you put your head upside down a lot more than you think.
-bending down to do
yoga
(well ...when I get that spurt to get back into it)
-bending down to
throwing your head under the tub faucet to wash your hair.
-bending down to
look for your kiddo's lost shoe in the big mess in the closet.
-bending down to
hair blow your hair upside down to get that voluminous look.

So I can't be a yoga master, wash my hair in a flash,
be the house shoe finder and have cool knockout hair.

That is okay. I will manage.

So after our questions were answered.

We were ready.

Day One- MRV

As we were waiting to go in to get my MRV,
Matt says so how is the test done exactly? I said, I wasn't sure....

Oh boy. I should of checked.

It was probably good I didn't do the research on this one, because I would of never attempted without sedation as that is just plain crazy.

It is much like a MRI but this particular machine is
4 times stronger
than the best MRI machine and is so specified, they won't be missing anything.

But the process...
well there needs to be some advancement as I believe I can sign up for that again.

He begins telling me to lay down on the skinny table and asks if I am claustrophobic?
um...YES.
(but I immediately realize I should of made prior arrangements to get some
"you do anything and I won't care" drugs,
and was afraid I would prolong the test if I needed to get any so...)

I followed up with,

"But I will be fine"

phuhh... ya right.

Then he said I just have a few gadgets for you then we are all set.

Gadgets?

So we began with
gadget number ONE:

He placed a hard plastic neck brace snugly placed around my neck.

Then gadget TWO:
He proceeds to place a hard plastic cage
around my face with slits to see through.
(Man in the Iron Mask- ring a bell?)

Finally gadget THREE:
A heavy blanket/contraption to lay on my chest.

Finally he says,
"Your all set! Don't take deep breathes,
you need to stay steady and still.
And the test
will take approximately 2 hours."

Are you kidding me?

So after a few panic attacks and some MAJOR pep talks I went to my happy place.
When that didn't work,
I spent the time doing simple math, reorganizing my cupboards, and reevaluated my budget all in my mind,
and anything I could do to keep my mind busy in order to keep from
going seriously mental from my new worst nightmare.

It was one of the hardest things I have ever done.

Now when I am asked if I am claustrophobic. I need to say

"yes, where are my drugs?"

Day One...Complete. (barely)

What If's

Just 4 more days until we leave...

I can't wait.
but I am really nervous...very very nervous.

what if
I am not blocked and they say "sorry lady, no problem here."?
what if
they tear my vein or some other freak incident occurs?
what if
it really really hurts?
what if
I need a stent and I have to tell them no, is that the right decision?
what if
after spending over $10,000 for this procedure, our car gets in a wreck, our house floods or the kids cause a freak accident and all our furniture is ruined...(okay that may be a stretch) and then we need that money for such emergencies?

and my biggest fear of all...

what if it doesn't work?

I have felt that Heavenly Father has been holding my hand through this entire experience
...since the beginning...
but my hand is still shaking with fear's...or tremoring. (a little MS humor)

I am trying to squeeze all the faith I can out of that mustard seed.
Allowing me to be able to stand and have the courage to conquer these fears.

Matt told me tonight that

Real faith is when you get off your knees,
and then you do everything in your power
to bring about what you are praying for.

So...even with all of my what if's?
I will now have faith AND courage to stand up and do my part.

even if
my legs are shaking...
but with fear this time and not from MS.

The Big Day or Days...

So I have my date...

my date to get

unclogged
router routed
unstuck
rerouted
cleared up
get things flowing again


January 3rd
Fly down to Costa Mesa, California
January 4th
My test day to see if I am plugged
January 5th
The big day of unplugging
January 6th
Follow up appointment with Doctor.
January 7th
My day to go to Disneyland.
January 8th
Fly home

Yes I said Disneyland...
So it HAPPENS to be only 11 miles from the doctors office.
And Disneyland HAPPENS to be my one of my favorite places to go...really.
So Matt said this trip is for me...so he is going to make sure going to Disneyland HAPPENS.
I love that man.
Technically I am supposed to stay in the area for two days after the procedure, so might as well make the best of it right?

Bad Plumbing?

Well I need to update, I would love to say all is well and I try REALLY hard to put on my happy face, but I just seem to be getting worse it seems...

I had my first fall a couple weeks ago. The connection telling my brain to pick up and move my right foot seemed to just not make it and down I went. Left a potato sized bruise on the top of my foot when I hit the vacuum on my way down to the floor. It happened so fast I didn't even understand it, but I knew my leg wasn't supposed to do that.

The spider crawling tingling and numbness that used to hang around only my feet have moved up to include my calves now in both my legs as now a daily constant companion.

The stabbing pain behind my eyes was a once in awhile symptom but now seems to have become a regular.

And now the new addition that has crept in lately is the jello legs. A weakness and balance disturbance in my legs, that seems to mirror the sensation of carefully walking across a log to cross a river, as each step needs concentration and focus. Bruises across my arms and legs attest to the fact that I have lost balance and wammed myself into a nearby wall or door.

And as recent as two days ago when making cookies with the kids, I was using a spatula to scoop a cookie up and all of a sudden in my right pinky finger I felt an electric pop, then a burst of spider tingles and finally it went completely numb for about 4 hours.

Someone sitting right next to me wouldn't have a clue that when I go to reach for my fork my hand tremors so bad that it is difficult to pick it up and sometimes I even drop it. It just looks like I overshot it and people drop things all the time.

MS is a very lonely disease and can be extremely depressing as you have no idea what each day will bring and have to thrown on a smile day in and day out. All the while having the greatest fear that all MS patients face, is wondering if this is the morning when you wake up and the numbness and tingling doesn't restore and we become wheelchair bound.

More times than not as I make my way across the soccer field to watch my boys games, and watch all the parents flow to the fields, I think, will one day I have to arrive in a wheelchair?

Or I think as I watch the kids dance around the Christmas tree, wondering will one Christmas in the future will have my sight have left me?

I didn't write this
to be Mrs. Gloom and Doom but to help understand the incredible blessing that Matt and I have prayerfully decided to embark on. This controversial treatment called The Liberation Treatment, has taken the medical community by storm and turned it on it's head. Essentially in a nutshell the theory is they have found a large number of MS patients have blockages in their veins, particular their jugular veins. Which in turn causes a backup of the flow of blood or a reflux back into the brain, which according to their theory may cause these lesions. This isn't a voodoo weirdo stuff. The best way to understand CCSVI in a nutshell is to watch the videos.

Now for the neigh sayers, we have not made this decision lightly. Through prayer and educating ourselves we have decided to fight aggressively in order to have the best quality of life while children are young and before I get any worse.
It is right for us.

And simply only those living with MS torturing their body or watching a loved one live day by day live with this disease would understand why this minimally invasive procedure is truly a blessing if it could help even one of my symptoms

so why wouldn't I try it?

Jessie our Cowgirl

Jessica wanted to be Jessie the Cowgirl this year for Halloween.
Her all time favorite Disney character.

"Mom, you can make it right???" she says.

Ah...yup....?

So... for under ten dollars.

and armed

with a
glue gun,
liquid glue
red yarn,
cowhide,
yellow fabric...

and a couple hours on Saturday morning.

Jessie the Cowgirl Was Born!!